If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”
This happens to me all the fucking time at Kmart this is so happening YAAAAS
"Anything you want in love you should have. If you want someone to send you flowers just because it’s Tuesday, you should have that. If you want someone to write you love letters, you should have that. If you want someone who looks at you like the sun rises and sets because of you, you should have that. In life, we often have to settle for “okay” or “good enough”, love should not be one of those things."
"Realize that anyone who tries to put you down about your appearance is assuming that it is your job to please them visually. Once you realize that it isn’t your job to be visually pleasing to anyone, ever, it becomes very hard for anyone to make you feel bad about yourself."
That’s good service.
We shall never deny a guess even the most ridiculous request..
I CANT DO THIS RIGHT NOW
(Source: poyzn, via lil-j0n)
Guys I cant stop laughing I am in my room here laughing so hard and my roommates little sister is here and this is so sad and why am I high on a Sunday what is the meaning of life is time flowing or nah?
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now